Being in a big city like LA, or New York, things move so fast. It is difficult to slow down: we run from here to there, drinking coffee, texting, on the phone, talking about one thing and thinking about "what's next." This is human- being caught up in the environment. Yet that speed can become a destructive force when we face the challenges of life that provoke the emotion of fear: having enough money, finding the right someone, getting into the right school, finding a place to live. Lots of things become stressful and they provoke fears in our heads.
And yes, fear is normal. It is human to fear. Yet what happens often because of the speed of our lives and our minds, is that the mind won't let go of the fear. It starts to think about the fear, about the "Oh, no, what if"s and the "What happens if I don't"s. This is no longer fear. This is worry.
Take a look at the definitions:
Fear: to have a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain.
Worry: Give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles
I really want to highlight the differences in the above definitions. Fear is simply the "having" of an emotion. Something provoked by the environment. A human response. However, notice how the verb worry is defined: "Give way to anxiety" and "allow one's mind"- These phrases indicate something extremely positive- that we have a choice whether to worry or not!
This is sort of a revelation to habitual worriers (like me) who roll in their minds the thousands of prospective doomsday scenerios of situations that haven't even happened yet.
So what to do if this sounds like you:
1. Slow it down. Breathe. Become aware that you're worrying. Any thoughts that start with "what if this doesn't" or "What happens if I don't" 99% percent of the time are worries.
2. Write it down. Once you realize "I'm worrying!" write it down. People get all caught up with buying a journal to record everything in. This isn't necessary. You're on a bus? Waiting somewhere? Grab the back of a used piece of paper and write down your thoughts, ALL of them, the crazy ones, the irrational ones.
3. Then here's the key step: write down evidence to support it and evidence against it. (This is part of cognitive behavioral therapy.) Research has proven this will decrease your anxiety and also give you some objectivity on the subject. Plus you might even find a solution. (But that's not really the point.)
If you do these things in your next "freak out" I think you might find it beneficial!
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig.
You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
- George Bernard Shaw
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/HealthAndHappinessClub/~3/G_Nxcq3Bq1g/worry-versus-fear.html
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