Should We Listen to Shoulds?

Shoulds (i.e., statements with ?should? in them) are tricky because many of the shoulds in our egoic mind contain very good advice, while others are not so useful or even true. It?s helpful to know that you should brush your teeth twice a day and floss, that you should be kind to others, and that you should look both ways before crossing the street. These are useful guidelines. We were taught certain things, and these become rules to live by?shoulds. The problem is that not everything we were taught is true or always true or a good rule for us personally to live by in the moment in which the should arises.

We were taught things like: ?You should obey your parents.? ?You shouldn?t get angry.? ?You should go to church.? ?You shouldn?t talk to strangers.? ?You should go to college.? ?You shouldn?t cry.? ?You should always tell the truth.? While these might have been useful instructions when we were growing up, are they useful to you now, in this moment? Shoulds are only a problem if we blindly and rigidly follow them without examining them for how true they are for us in the moment. Now that we have the capacity to do this as adults, we still often act as children in the face of a should, assuming it is always true and the sky will fall down if we don?t adhere to it.

Source: http://www.radicalhappiness.com/all-blog-articles/380-should-we-listen-to-shoulds

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