Self-Criticism

Many of us have a strong inner critic, and we take its criticism to heart, no doubt because its source is our childhood and the criticism we received then. When we were a child, we took our parents? words and perceptions as the truth, so when they criticized us, we believe them: ?You?re so careless! Why don?t you listen? Your head is in the clouds. You?d better start paying attention or you?ll never make it in life.?

Surely when our parents said such things, they thought they were being helpful. But although their intentions may have been good, the result wasn?t. Now we carry their words and the way those words made us feel around with us, and whenever we make a mistake, the same shame and feelings of inadequacy come up as when we were young.

Mistakes are normal, kids are imperfect, adults are imperfect, but as children, we?re likely to have concluded that making mistakes means we?re bad, we won?t do well in life, and any number of other conclusions. It?s no wonder many of us are paralyzed by new situations and challenges: ?What if I make a mistake? I?ll probably screw up as usual.? We may stop ourselves from going after what we want, trying and learning new things, developing our talents, growing, and having fun, all because we?re afraid of feelings those familiar feelings of failure from long ago. Parental criticism becomes self-criticism. We learned to do that perfectly!

Source: http://www.radicalhappiness.com/all-blog-articles/381-self-criticism

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