April Wellness: Mel & El Get Well!

Mel: Hey, El?

El: Yes, Mel?

Mel: It's time to re-introduce ourselves to the readership of Health and Happiness Club.

El: Fantastic. Hello, people!

Mel: We are Mel & El. We last showed up on Health and Happiness Club talking about our deep psychological friendship issue called Codefriendency

El: We've actually been best friends since we were twelve...

Mel: ...which, for the purposes of this blog, makes us Friendship Experts!

El: Or Friend-perts.

Mel: Ew. That makes it sound like we're Friend Perverts.

El: We are pretty perverted.

Mel: BUT ANYWAY! What we really want to share is that we'll be doing a regular monthly blog called MEL & EL: GET WELL. It will feature us talking about the various things we do to become better human beings - be it exercise plans, food and nutrition ideas, beauty products or spiritual hootenanny.

El: Having met us I would say it will be more beauty products and less spiritual hootenanny.

Mel: But who even knows? We could get crazy-crunchy-Earthy hanging around this Health and Happiness Crew.

El: Yes. We'll be composting in no time.

Mel: For now, please enjoy our interview with Mark Fisher of Mark Fisher Fitness with whom we've been working out in a program called Snatched in Six Weeks.

El: Don't even get me started on that title.

Mel: We think he's just the right combination of Smarty Pants McTrainerman and Funny Dude McFitness.

El: Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Fisher!

Mel & El: Our first question is not a question. Please tell our folks a little bit about yourself and the work you do.

Mark Fisher: Well, hello there Mel and El's folks! I'm a fitness professional who specializes in getting people healthy and hot. I also specialize in dropping f-bombs because it keeps me in touch with my lower middle class Jersey Shore roots.

M&E: Did you create the "Snatched in Six Weeks" bootcamp because you love to yell at people?

MF: Actually, kinda the opposite. I don't even like people calling "Snatched" a bootcamp, because to me bootcamps imply someone yelling at people and making them workout till they puke. As you ladies both know I lovingly kick my clients' asses, but I also insist on technique because I don't want people getting injured. I like to think I'm a little more nuanced than just making people feel nauseous, 'cause let's be honest, a monkey with a stop watch making you do sprints would have no problem giving you a great "workout."

M&E: Exactly how much fun is it to touch our sweaty backs when you are doing corrections during class?

MF: It's my favorite part.

M&E: That is the correct answer. We've read your snark-ariffic blog so we know that you don't think Spandex is for everyone and that you don't like those creepy shoes that are like gloves for your toes. These are the main reasons we like you. Why do you like us? Just kidding! (Not kidding). But, really, do you have any non-boring exercise or nutrition goodies that you'd like to share with our captive audience?

MF: Whoa, whoa, whoa!! My fashion correspondent Emily Loftiss hates the Vibrams for fashion reasons, but I actually love 'em. I know they're not stylish, but they're great for feeling the floor with your feet (which is important for geeky reasons having to do with...proprioception. Big words RULE.) Sorry to take away the main reason you like me.

Hmm...non-boring goodies...let's see. Here's three little ditties:

1) If you hate running and it hurts your body and you're just doing it to lose fat, STOP. You'll get better fat loss results with weight training. Seriously. You look like you're speed limping and it makes my knees hurt to watch you. Cut it out.

2) You can't out train your diet. If you accidentally drank seven margaritas on Saturday night which led to accidentally crushing a whole pizza, you can't make up for it by training your balls off all week. Just accept you screwed up and try not to get accidentally hammered next weekend. Or eat whatever you want, but stop complaining about your body if you're never gonna actually do anything about it. And if you're not sure what to do, I know someone you can ask (see question five).

3) If you're doing a bazillion crunches on the weighted ab machine, but not making good nutrition choices, I got some news for you: you're still not gonna have a six pack, but you ARE gonna herniate a disc in your low back. If you want to get rid of stomach fat, eat less calories and burn more calories (by doing movements that burn a lot of calories...you know the really annoying HARD ones, like squats and lunges and pushups). You can't reduce fat from a specific area by working the underlying musculature.

M&E: Now that everyone thinks you're awesome, please tell them where they can find you live and in person?

MF: Well, you could come to my apartment, but that'd be kinda weird. I guess second best would be checking me out on the interwebz at www.markfisherfitness.com. I train out of midtown Manhattan and do both traditional one-on-one personal training as well as the "Snatched in Six Weeks" group classes. All my contact info is on the site, and if you're reeeeeally cool, you'll sign up for my newsletter. It goes out once a fortnight and is chock full of knowledge for folks not obsessed with fitness who just want to feel and look good, as well as info about upcoming opportunities to get hot. Also, silly pictures.

M&E: Thank you, Mark Fisher!

Mel & El are actual childhood best friends and an award-winning musical comedy duo. You can catch their next show MEL & EL: OUR TIME OF THE MONTH on Thursday, June 2nd at 92YTribeca, 200 Hudson Street at 7:30PM. Reservations recommended by clicking here or by visiting www.melandel.com.