From Choosing Love: Moving from Ego to Essence in Relationships (formerly called Loving in the Moment)
The ego doesn't want to commit to anything?a place, a relationship, a career?because it believes that something better may be possible, and it's willing to forgo what is present for the possibility of something better that isn't present. Essence, on the other hand, is committed to whatever is. It doesn't commit into the future because all that exists is the present, so it commits itself to that. This is the essential difference between the ego and Essence: The ego dreams of something better in the midst of whatever is, while Essence simply enjoys and commits attention and love to whatever is. In fact, committing attention to anything that is present results in enjoyment. This is why the ego enjoys so little?it commits attention to what isn't present and to what it doesn't have, and suffers over that, rather than committing attention to whatever is. It loves its fantasies, dreams, and desires more than it loves reality.
To love, we have to fall in love with reality, with what's true right now, not with what might be true in the future or with what we want to be true in the future. Love happens in the present moment (like everything, really). That's why the ego doesn't know about love?because love is the experience of being in the present moment, and as soon as the ego experiences the present moment, it runs from it. Commitment takes a willingness to fall in love with reality, with the real partner who is in front of you, rather than seek something else, either actually or through fantasy. What you commit to is what's here right now. Who knows what will be here next? All you ever really have is what's here right now, so it makes sense to commit to that, to give your full attention, your love, to that.
Those who have difficulty committing to a relationship often have difficulty committing to other things as well because they have an underlying belief, or misunderstanding, that what's here isn't good enough and what's somewhere else is better. This is the ego's basic assumption about life: Whatever is happening now isn't it. It is somewhere else, with it being ultimate happiness and contentment. The ego assumes it is elsewhere, because the ego perceives whatever is happening as not good enough, and it concludes that must mean there's something else that will be good enough. It imagines one day it will find peace and happiness because life will finally line up correctly. Those who can't commit are waiting for life to line up, fall into place, and they're quite sure that what they imagine life will look like then won't look like whatever life looks like now.
To love, we have to fall in love with reality, with what's true right now, not with what might be true in the future or with what we want to be true in the future. Love happens in the present moment (like everything, really). That's why the ego doesn't know about love?because love is the experience of being in the present moment, and as soon as the ego experiences the present moment, it runs from it. Commitment takes a willingness to fall in love with reality, with the real partner who is in front of you, rather than seek something else, either actually or through fantasy. What you commit to is what's here right now. Who knows what will be here next? All you ever really have is what's here right now, so it makes sense to commit to that, to give your full attention, your love, to that.
Those who have difficulty committing to a relationship often have difficulty committing to other things as well because they have an underlying belief, or misunderstanding, that what's here isn't good enough and what's somewhere else is better. This is the ego's basic assumption about life: Whatever is happening now isn't it. It is somewhere else, with it being ultimate happiness and contentment. The ego assumes it is elsewhere, because the ego perceives whatever is happening as not good enough, and it concludes that must mean there's something else that will be good enough. It imagines one day it will find peace and happiness because life will finally line up correctly. Those who can't commit are waiting for life to line up, fall into place, and they're quite sure that what they imagine life will look like then won't look like whatever life looks like now.
Source: http://www.radicalhappiness.com/blog/432-not-being-able-to-commit
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